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I think you need to sit down and have a conversation with him about all of this, because that's truly the only way to get to the bottom of it and make a decision for yourself. You might want to determine your level of willingness to put up with his demanding work schedule and to communicate with him about your needs and concerns. I'm not going to hit the town with single ladies and couples find it awkward just inviting you over. This is by design. In the end, if the guy is the keeper you say he is then go with your gut. There were times I asked him if he was seeing someone else and both times he answered no. Maybe more convinced than you are.
I'd love to hear from more veterans about how to make this work in the long run. That settles it for me. Typical American girls have the government to make them feel secure. No where did I say, nor I think indicate, that I thought this wasn't a complex issue, or that this girl is a caricature.